Thank you polysyllabic procreaters for giving your spawn these winded names. You thought departing from the longstanding American tradition of keeping it simple would set your kid apart from the pack of crayon-eating C-students. And that raising them to settle for nothing less than an enthusiastic nod to ALL THAT nomenclature would make them, what, cooler? WRONG! It makes them lame, and if lameness could be measured in units, it would be measured in syllables. But who’s lamer, the girl with demands to be called by both her middle and first names, or the Nathaniels of the world who hate the “Nate.” *** Submitted by Colin Smith! ***  CLICK THE LAMER !